Well…we did it. We survived the first day back to school. After 3:30 today I can say we survived the first “week” back to school too. I am not going to go into what our school is doing or anything like that. Not gonna go there. However, I have documented some other, for me personally, momentous turns of time in this pandemic on here so I thought I needed to write a little bit about this real life moment in history too.
I am going to be honest. I have been wondering what this week would look like since the school was canceled in March. My thoughts instantly went to what will the school year look like for Americans in Fall. And you know what…everything collectively is pretty close to how I guessed it could be. Which… well it just is what it is.
It is a relief to me that this part of the guessing game is over. Every single day is a guessing game as to what that school day will look like or what can happen today that will now pivot our life in a new direction for what could be a path for a day, a week, weeks, or future months. But that hasn’t happened yet and I can’t even guess as to what that pivot would even look like.
What I can say is that I am finding myself with such a crazy sense of relief. I am a worrier and a stresser. I used to be quite an anxious person, but I am not really someone riddled with anxiety anymore. However I hate the unknown. I just will sit there and try to logically guess all the ways something can turn out and I hate it when I can’t control at least some direction of where things will go. I know, I know.. Unrealistic. As a character in Jurassic World says in his helicopter (and many other famous people much wiser) said best, “ The key to a happy life is to accept you are never actually in control. Don’t forget why we built this place, Claire. Jurassic World exists to remind us how very small we are.” And we too must remember, we are never actually in control.
What can we control…what can I control? I can control how I can make my kid’s days as positive yet realistic as possible. How do I do that? Well for one… I do not hide that I am worried, I am their mother and I am human… We can be worried about the people we love. But, I can reassure them that we are good people, they are good people, people are still good and that we have the ability to identify, hopefully, the people who are not good. And that everything is still ok. Things are different, but we are still ok and we will be ok. Because why? Because we are strong enough to believe that we are ok and will be ok.
So why do I feel relieved? I am so relieved to know what are my controls and variables in the school situation are and I am confident that we can ride the rises and falls that will happen everyday. I feel like I can worry a little less and that my kid knows right from wrong and that we are surrounded by good people. I just feel a little better for her and just feel hopeful about things and not super fearful about everything. I am in such a good place mentally and emotionally. If we are in a good mental place as parents, it will be so much easier for our kids in this intense time of transition for them. Remember, parents, we can do this <3